Herding Thoughts....

1. My thoughts are currently like a bundle of helium balloons let loose into the sky. Like atoms straying in random directions. All away from my head, away from the intention. Does anyone really know what happens to them balloons anyway? My imagination thinks that it keeps travelling up and in space there are all these multi-coloured balloons drifting aimlessly and astronaunts play with them, that's why they have so much fun up in space. My logical (and one that knows a little too much) tells me that the gases disperse out or expand due to heat/lack of gases in the atmosphere resulting in having to balance the partial pressure of the gases inside the balloon vs. the surrounding resulting in a POP.

2. Focus, dammit. What's wrong with the optics in my brain.

3. Always hoping for the best, always expecting the worst. Am I a fool for always assuming disappointment? But if I did does it not mean that when good things happen it's a nice pleasant surprise?

4. I slipped into another sink hole. Thankfully, not a deep one that I can't crawl out of.

5. I really should be reading my clinical work. Otherwise at least revising Chemistry and Physics. WHY IS IT SO HARD to study?? When did LIFE start to take over? (this is an unusual form of complaining, I've discovered a new LOW!!)

6. Very bad week for losing weight, I've snacked on two packet of Chips over the week, digged into Conniessuer Ice Cream (sometimes drazzled with Margaret River Chocolate factory chocolate sauce), ate buffet at Atrium, a Chinese Banquet and all I done in terms of exercise is 20 minute interval running and yoga.  I still have to attend a dinner with bf's family, another Chinese Banquet. ARGH!!... SOOOOOOOOOO naughty. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO LOSE WEIGHT IN THESE CONDITIONS?? At least I have two fruits a day. T_T

7. I feel like I am tied to a string. Like a pendulum. Swaying forth and back, back and forth. What is all this? I want to give MD a try and yet I'm so reluctant to study to get into it (and I guess at the back of my head I know the career I'm in, I can try to succeed). The back swing is, I already have this fabulous career I can expand and be awesome at, all it needs is a little bit of committment and passion (which I'm lacking because I'm swinging forth and wanting MD). FML. I need to decide and I really need to stick to wanting one or the other. There is no both. But WHY AM I BEING SUCH A PENDULUM. GOD POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

The Year that was MMX

I have always found new year's unbelievable. After 23 years of breathing, it amazes me how fast time can fly and it seems to be flying by faster year by year. The year that was MMX (aka 2-0-1-0)..

Achievements:
1. I started my career, the great love/hate affair that it is.
2. Bought an apartment.
3. Have a job I'm currently enjoying.
4. Social life, Love life, Life, all in all ticked.
5. Family - despite the ups and downs I love them.
6. Did a Barista course, am now officially qualified to make coffee (not necessary epic ones but is willing to practise to become epic - must buy an espresso machine).
7. Learnt/still learning to sail.
8. Started going to the gym/exercising
9. Appreciating wines
10. Learning to appreciate my family for everything they do for me.

Down falls:
1. Being a brat to my parents at times
2. Failing to cook or bake more
3. Unable to cut down on food
4. Reducing the number of outings I make to restaurants (epically failed to decrease restaurant eating)
5. Unmotivated to study
6. Not being able to travel overseas
7. Not being able to shop less (although compared to last year I did rather well I thought)
8. Not losing weight

The year of movies: (movies I've seen.. it's keeping the cinemas alive ok!)
1.  Valentine's Day
2. Alice in Wonderland
3. Green Zone
4. How to Train Your Dragon
5. Date Night
6. Kick Ass the movie
7. Iron Man II
8. Robin Hood
9. Inception
10. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
11. Avatar
12. Avatar: THE LAST AIRBENDER
13. Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time
14. Sex and the City II
15. Get Him to the Greek
16. Toy Story 3
17. Despicable Me
18. Salt
19. Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief
20. The Expendables
21. Wall Street II - Money Never Sleeps
22. Red
23. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 1
24. The King's Speech
25. Summer Wars

I think there may have been more. I'm pretty sure I spent most of this year going to the cinemas and watching movies.

Concerts:
1. Big Day Out
2. Lost Prophets
3. On the Bright Side
4. Birds of Tokyo
5. Bon Jovi
6. U2

Theatre:
1. Chicago
2. Mamma Mia
3. West Side Story

Comedians:
1. Will Anderson
2. Frank Woodley
3. Russell Peters
4. A mixture of comedians at Melbourne Comedy Festival

Holidays: 
1. Melbourne trip (10 days)
2. Sydney (4 days)
3. Rottnest (3 days)

Attended weddings, hen's party, housewarming, birthdays, high teas, girls nights, home dinner parties, homemade pizza making, cranium competition, laughed, cried too much, and is still learning to survive and kick my demons.

Best parts of working on Sundays...

Last week, I sent one of my girls to go to Choux Cafe in Swanbourne for the one dessert item I've been craving for ages...


MACAROONS!!!!
 

 

Oh the colours! The exploding of tastebuds! The Sugar HIT!

PERFECTION in between all the working...

LOVE LOVE LOVE.. must admit Choux Cafe does them really nicely and at $20 for a dozen.. kind of dear but HEY who cares they taste heavenly!!

OH not only did we get macaroons.. said girl.. grabbed coffee and cupcake from BabyCakes (which is within our complex)!

GOD .. Love it when work turns into a full gorge on delicious desserts.

HEY!

a girl's gotta get her sweets!

busy busy

I've had a full on week last week and a better weekend.

Friday was bf and mine 3rd month.. naaww how cute yeh?.. anyway, he took me to Fraser's Restaurant, and much to my surprise it was actually really fantastic (except maybe the service - it wasn't exactly spectacular, but at least the wine girls really knew how to match their reds to the lamb). Yes, I had lamb, it was so tender and probably the best lamb I've had so far at a restaurant, bf had a scotch fillet steak. No photos, because I forgot to charge my camera - I was really busy that day. The dessert was also very nice.. the roasted almonds (and other things) bread pudding with ice cream, melted chocolate and cream was the perfect treat to end the dinner (and warm your tummy seeing as it was freezing outside), while bf had the missussiipi (no idea how to spell it, too many s's and too many i's) mud cake with ice cream and cream. I was surprise that it was great, only because I've had so many bad things about it. I guess the only complaint I have is that the price was really steep. But overall, with the views of the city through the trees and the food, and the romantic ambience about the whole place (lots of couples), it was fantastic.

I have also just started a new job, and that has been rather interesting. I see how long I can stick around. The pay is great. The hours are great. The work isn't too stressful, just a lot of pressure timewise with meeting deadlines and what-nots. I also get a proper lunch break and morning tea and afternoon tea if I so wish it. As well as having public holidays off (and paid for!) YES!!

I also went to see SALT yesterday after work, took a quick shower, ate and drove to bf's place, where he was still cooking dinner for him and his housemates, then I had his famous cheesecake and O.M.G it truly is the best cheesecake ever!!! BETTER than any of the ones in the shops, better than any I've ever tasted. I LOVE IT. So I requested that he makes it for my birthday (he doesn't make it too often because it's not exactly the healthiest thing, in fact its completely and utterly, deliciously sinful and unhealthy, which explains why it's so damn good!), now I can't wait until my birthday.

I've also been keeping up with my gym work - mum (who is brutly honest when it comes to my weight and size) said that I've toned up and slimmed down, even though it doesn't exactly show up on the scales, bf also commented, so I must be doing something right. I been trying to exercise three times a week at least, and limit eating out to once a week, and in terms of skipping junk, I'm still so hopeless and helpless in that department (just look at the notes in this entry!!). I been doing yoga, bodypump and occasional running, but now I've descovered the perfect cardio that I enjoy (apart from spin class) is BODYCOMBAT. Apart from working up a sweat, it's the perfect stress reliefer on a Wednesday night.

Oh man, it's 11:25pm, I have to read this work manual and sleep, hmm.. I still have a procrastination habit.
Fantastic.

Newsflash!

So I got the job - a job with a bit of difference to all the other places I've worked at. A little excited, because it may be interesting. A little scared, because I've never worked in a place like that before. Have to get my organisation, concentration and time manager hats back on.

Secondly, because of that this coming week is my last week of holidays/freedom. As a result I'm having mixed feelings because I was really starting to enjoy learning to cook, going to the gym, occasionally cleaning and shopping. Basically being all domesticated. I don't know how I feel about having to venture into work, after all I will be working for the next 40 years of my life and I will never have this freedom back. ARGH, thinking like that is so damn despressing.

At least I get money, but I probably wouldn't have the time or energy to spend it.

GOD DAMMIT, is there no balance in this life??

oh life..

Working.

Attended an interview for a very interesting aspect of the my profession. Something completely different. Not quite community (no retail aspects of it) not quite hospital (don't really get to do clinical reviews unless I get accreditated - but I do deal with the doctors, nurses, carers etc). They kept telling me that my experiences is what they were after and were rather impressed with my resume. Alas they still had more interviews. I will know the news by the end of the week.

Body pump.

Yoga.

Running.

Not necessarily in that order. I was suppose to go to my body pump class but worked called me. DAMN on-call.

Eating all you can eat Greek food tonight. Should be interesting, because firstly I had a bad experience at this Greek place I went to and secondly it's all-you-can-eat, which generally ends up being not the best of foods. But I'm willing to try new things.

Speaking of new things. I found the perfect pair of shorts for spring/summer and have been assembling outfits for the warmer weather. This autumn/winter fashion didn't do it for me but the spring/summer assembles are rather inspirational. Also partly because I have two moods to me, I have this urban/street/thrown together style of me, which is perfect with all the nudes, the military trends thats coming through and I also have this girlie/pretty/ prairie pretty/elegant/vintage style, which is why I love the hints of floral, lace, and vintage accessories/styles that are out there. I can't wait until I get to let lose my conflicting styles. It really just depends on my mood as to which one I would wear.

I just wish though I would lose weight. I seem to be more flexible and definately my strength improved but I still haven't managed to lose the weight. MUST STOP EATING ICE CREAM. *SIGH*

pros and cons

One of the best things about working at this place on a Sunday is that you get paid for doing almost nothing.

The bad thing is, I hate the fact that I can feel my brain turning into a useless mash of nothingness.

I like to use my head, after all I studied hard to keep my knowledge and I don't need it to turn into nothingness.

neverending excitement..

Tonight we have an official introduction into "OUR" professional society.

It's all very exciting.

Partly because I get to see everyone again.

I have no idea what I'm wearing.

it's sooo pwetttii

This is what one of my very very hippie and slightly crazy (nice crazy) patient gave me.

A flower. It's pink and it's pretty.

Taken by my dodgey phone camera

He actually quite sweet and remembers my nationality and he gave me this flower all because I commented how pretty the flowers in his hair were.

Like I said. He was a hippy patient. AND NO he was not old. Probably in his mid-twenties.

AND Although this is sweet and all and makes you feel appreciated. I am also scared. I don't like the attention.

But doesn't looking at the flower make you happy? It makes my day brighter! ^_^

i'm in the big league now...

It's weird - the quick unbelievable transaction between intern to a health professional. Nothing can really prepare you for it and how well you will cope. Granted, not a lot has changed, in fact you get to pass on your previous responsibilities - delegate - only to pick up a whole new bunch (harder) responsibilities.

I'm loving it.

Maybe I can do this. But not for 40 years.

I'll enjoy it while this feeling of elation lasts. Of course, like anything, nothing is perfect, but life, is what you make of it. Like anything I do, I'm making the most of the opportunity to work in the hospital system and have a great weekend job and will be dipping my toe into the world of teaching.

But, damn, this is so different to how I was living my life for the last month. I'm exhausted.

I do want my freedom back, but this is all in the name of massive holidays I have planned.