"we are engaged!"

I feel so old. I complain about this all the time, but I really am getting old. You know this when you look at your teenage cousins and wish that you can dress up or fancy dress up and know that what you be doing is dancing around to music at one of your friend's backyards, instead of sitting around eating, drinking and talking with music in the background. What happened to all that craziness? all that fun? all that laughter? When did we become so self-conscious so boring that we forget to let our hair down and do a crazy dance?

To top it all of, you know you getting old when almost everyone - well all the couples in the long-term relationships - around you start to get engaged and you hear all the sweet and creative proposals. Either that or included with that is the whole buying a house thing.

The problem with this whole growing up thing is that I don't feel grown up. It's not that I don't want to grow up. I mean when I was about 10 all I wanted to do was grow up - have my freedom, independence and do what I wish (within reason of course), but now that I'm independent, with a career, with freedom to do whatever I wish, I don't want that other stuff. The whole buy a house (even if it is for investment), find someone to settle down with, act more mature, stop giggling so much and finding amusement in little things, be a boring fart. I don't want that.

I am older, I am not that teenager, but I still want to giggle and laugh at stupid things, I don't want an investment home or a house for me yet, because I don't want that mortgage, I want to travel. I want to walk throught the streets of New York, drink coffee at a cafe in Paris, see Rome at its best, lose money in Vegas, laugh and cry at the same time. As for settling down? It'd be nice if I can find a person to share my adventures with, but I'm not fussed, I'm happy just meeting people for now, it's rather enriching, but I wouldn't want to get married young. I have too many other things I want to do, to see, to explore.

GOD, I hate growing up. Time just seems to fly by so much faster.